D.O.G.S. Helpdesk Portal

Welcome to D.O.G.S.

Need help?
Probably.

Log a ticket and our highly questionable support process will begin.

D.O.G.S. robot dog mascot

Recent Tickets

Create a Support Ticket

Describe the problem carefully. D.O.G.S. will retain as much of your explanation as it considers necessary.

Your name

Used for the ticket number and to make the experience feel more personal.

My Tickets

Current and demonstration incidents.

Settings

User name
Stored locally in this browser.

Marketing email address
Definitely not for spam. Probably.

Create account
For an enhanced unauthenticated experience.

Colour scheme
Alternative schemes are tested for five seconds before common sense is restored.

Font
Because typography is important.

Database settings
Advanced configuration for people who enjoy disappointment.

Startup sequence
Replay the unnecessarily elaborate introduction.

About D.O.G.S.

D.O.G.S. stands for Department of General Support.

It is a parody helpdesk portal created for amusement, experimentation and the occasional
therapeutic response to several decades of working with technology.

The tickets, resolutions, status changes, settings and database options are fictional.
Any resemblance to real support processes is entirely coincidental, unfortunate or both.

No actual support service is provided by this page. If your computer is genuinely on fire,
please do not log a D.O.G.S. ticket.